26.10.09

Oh what a day is today.

It's crazy! I was so sure that I had my life planned out.. I have a change of heart. I want to do the Mp3 program at my church next fall.. it's like a leadership course that is 3 months long. I want to do it now, and I definitely did not have a to desire a couple of weeks ago.
I'm so happy too! I love it! I really do :) I'm so content with my life right now, it's satisfying.
I went on a leadership retreat with my school this past week, and I had a huge change of heart. It's amazing how Gods love can make you feel inside. The feeling I had when I first accepted Christ, I have again. It's the best feeling in the world.
It also feels good to write in my blog again... I haven't for a while.. And I think of doing it everday, but never have time. I am going to make time now because I LOVE IT!
Life is good. I'm happy.. and quite frankly, not sure how it can get any better than this! :)
Well, maybe it could.. without all the homework.
:)

14.10.09

Hmmm.. Seeing people I love getting hurt, is hard.
Today was interesting.. very. I'm not sure I fully understand the concept of forgiving. I had TOO many memories come back to me today, & they weren't happy ones. Just not a good day in general. I did appreciate the rain today though.. :) I've been thinking about my life lately, and my choice of career.. haha. It's a joke. I have NO clue! errg. Should I pursue music, and if I do, how..? Worship, solo artist..? TOO many options I tell ya. I just need to give it to God, obvs. Stress is too high in my system today, so it would probably be a good idea to go to sleep. Maybe i'll play some guitar first :)

12.10.09

Are you thankful?

Thanksgiving; the act of giving thanks; grateful acknowledgment of benefits or favors, esp. to God.
I have lots to be thankful for. I have noticed, lately the littlest things that God has done in my life, and they make me smile.. I'm so thankful for my friends, & that God has provided me with friends that I can handle [haha], my family, who at times, get on my nerves, but are always there for me, a house to live in, a pillow to rest my head at night.. really, the list could go on forever. We get so easily distracted by the big things in life, we loose focus on the little ones. Be thankful today! If you look deep, down in your heart, you will find something.. I guarantee it.

11.10.09

embrace, love and wait.

The snow is falling, landing around me in every direction.. i'm surrounded by the earthly thing I love most. The first snow fall. It's magical, gives me that sense of warmth, joy; an internal strength. As it falls, I catch it with my tounge.. childhood memories come rushing in & I feel a sense of peace. I could stay here forever. Pure bliss. My emotions are so complex at this very moment, I, myself don't understand them. I look in the distance & see two people holding hands, & I begin to muse on love. I start singing a song to myself, "I'll be waiting for you baby, i'll be holding back the darkest night, love is waiting till we're ready, till it's right, love is waiting". Inspiration is given to me at this moment, & I take advantage of it. With inspiration, your heart is changed, for a brief moment, yes, maybe, but it is encouraging while it lasts. I ponder how my life will turn out.. when I will fall in love, what kind of opportunities I will be given, who will come in my life & who will go.. deep stuff. As i'm thinking about these things, I realize it has stopped snowing. My heart beats a little faster because reality has hit me & I know I have things to do. Being in that state of fantasy, being disconnected from the world for a couple of minutes helped me to mediate on some desires that were heavy on my heart. Do you ever stop to think? Stop to love? Stop to embrace? My expierence of stepping aside from the world & honestly, just being, is very vibrant. You never know what questions might be answered, or what truths might come to you. What risk would it be to try?