Sunshine :)

Hello :)
It has been ages since I have written in my blog. A LOT has happened! But, unfortunatly I am not willing to share. It is too personal. Although, I will tell you that I have missed providing a reading service for you, if that is what my blog is to you :) & if it is, thank you. A lot has happened, and a lot has changed. Good, and bad, but that is how life is going to be. You can't have the good without the bad settling in first, and I have discovered that these past few months. Life is changing for me, and it is quite hard. I am resting in the arms of my saviour though :) I am so thankful for Him.
I hope your summer has been beautiful :) and that you are enjoying that gorgeous sunshine. I hope if you are stepping into a new phase, a new chapter in your life, that you are comforted by friends and family, because it is tough. I ALSO hope that you have found love, and not just a "him" or "her". But a love for something you have a passion for. Love for painting, love for singing, love for that special someone :)
I will talk to you soon, friend.

LOVE somebody today.

This is it.

Thank you for the friendships, the love, the laughs, the hard times. Thank you for the memories.
It's a funny feeling.. graduating. It feels like your heart is caving in, it feels as if it's the end of the world. But it also brings a smile to your face, because you know everything is going to be okay.

This is the official end of a chapter, grads of 2010. But lets make this next chapter, bigger and better :)

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"
- Eleanor Rossevelt

Dream big guys.
Take care of yourself.

Something good.

I'm slowly getting better. Each person I know has blessed me through this. Thank you for shining your beautiful light on me. It has helped me grow, learn and try to achieve on others, what you have done for me; Love.

My heart these days has been heavy, I will admit. It's the good kind of heavy though.. healing kind of heavy. Healing is good, but not necessarily easy.. I think people get that mixed up sometimes. The process is good, yet the hardest thing you will have to do. Facing reality is difficult, especially when you're trusting the [unknown] with your heart, life, with your everything. I still miss a lot of what I thought was turning into real love, and I know that it will take my heart a while to heal, but with the power of [my King] Jesus, it is possible.

This is just a quick message keeping you up to date on the impact you have had on my life. You truly are a gift from God.

Keep on being you, you.

P.s. You look GREAT today :)

Rain.

If my heart had a forecast, it would be rainy with a 100% chance of NO sun. I'm trying to let feelings go, ones that I shouldn't feel, but they keep raining down.. flooding my heart. Stress these days is very present in my life. We're actually like bffs. But it's a bad friend. One that enjoys seeing me hurt, and finds pleasure in my pain. I don't have depression, I just don't laugh as much anymore. Remember that guy? From the summer? The one who seemed PERFECT, and I felt so blessed to meet him..? Yeah. We started talking again a couple of weeks ago (as friends) and it really brought me down. But it's almost as if i'm addicted to him. He doesn't make me feel good, infact, I feel used when I talk to him.. yet I still want to keep going back. I stopped talking to him this week. It's honestly, the HARDEST thing for me right now. I know I deserve better, but there's that feeling inside of me that longs to be pursued, and wanted. He pursed me; but for the wrong reasons. He wanted me; but not in the way I wanted to be wanted. Don't feel sorry for me, because I DO know God has a plan for me, and the right guy, I just sometimes wonder why this guy came into my life. I need prayer, if you don't mind.
I want to thank my friends. Thank you. This may sound cheesy, but it's the truth. I don't know what I would do without you. In the hardest times, I know I can turn to you & I will not be judged. You will never understand how greatful I am for that. Honestly, thank you.
Although my heart these days is heavy, and I have no motivation, I am going to keep having hope.
Thank you for listening.
Shalom.

My tired heart, is beating so slow.

Sometimes, my mind races at night, and I simply cannot sleep. Do you ever get that? I hope not, because it really isn't fun. At all.
Why do I think about these things at night? Why is my motivation level so much higher? Inspiration; I feel it more strongly at night. I've asked myself so many times, why this happens.. but that causes me to think more, which makes it even harder to fall asleep. But, I like it. Weird, I know.. but life just seems so much more real in the late hours.. confusing, huh? Yea. I know. That's how my life is right now! Confusing. My heart is slowly healing, and i'm able to look past the last guy that was in my life. He is just a memory now, slowly fading.. & I am so thankful for that.
I am content in the state I am in though. Because I know I deserve SO much better than what I went through, and my amazing friends helped me realize that. I am letting God write my love story. I am going to be patient.
It feels good to vent. Why don't I write in here more often? Even if nobody is reading this, it feels good to let it go.
I hope that you get all of your hearts desires. That you are filled with joy, and that everyday you are able to sing a new song. With love. That's what I wish for you.

Take care of yourself, because YOU deserve it. You do.

You should laugh, so you don't cry.

Today was another interesting day. They always are for me.
Getting over someone, is the hardest thing I have had to do these past four months.. I thought it wouldn't be this hard, but since I have never gone through it, I didn't expect what I have been going through. Oh well, though. Life will get easier. It will just take me a long time to trust a guy again.
"Laugh so you don't cry" by Andy Davis. Has helped me. A LOT lately.. & through this whole thing. He really is great.
My friends, also, play a huge part in my "getting better". I love you all, dearly.
I hope your day went well :) I am going to go read now.

Shalom.

We sing, we dance, we steal things.

I really want to recommend Jason Mraz's cd "We sing, we dance, we steal things".
It's super snazzy & i'm sure you'll like it.
It has helped me this week, quite a bit :)

Thank you, Mr.Mraz :)